I had sent an old friend an email trying to regain    an email form of communication - having no communications since the mid-90's.  And that ended on a very sour note!    Since I had mentioned the cancer situation I have, I did get her care.  But the email also said communications were not a good idea on their part.  Thus ends a long wonder, ending in a new era of wonders. 

    Every 3 days I have to change this patch I wear.  Its a slow release pain thing named Fentanyl.  It has a history of recalls, so I know its good stuff.  I scheduled replacing the patch in the afternoons of the 3rd day.  And it takes about 10 hours or so to "kick in."  It tends to make me sleepy  and sometimes I spend the day on and off the bed for naps.  Well, I woke up early  this morning and read this new email.  Damn - After 12 years, I'm still catching April Fool's Jabs!!

    And there you have it.   

    Tomorrow I'm building this little shelf unit to store a lot of the crap I've boxed away over the years.  A little activity builds up the mussels-apetite!  And I love mussels.  Muscles are just a by-product.  Its amazing how much materials for a Very simple shelving unit costs!  It is usually cheaper and always easier just buying it at WalMart pre-packaged.  But I can't stand the looks of those fiber-board things.

 

This is my first day with MSN's Live thing.  Its all new, but it'll come to me.

  I was diagnosted with cancer last January ('08) and just finished 32 radiation treatments and some Chemo.  I hated the Chemo.  But the radiation treatments were actually ok.  There is a Non-Profit organization in Arkansas named CARTI ( Central Arkansas Radiation Therapy Institute ) that did the

radiation.  Since I am one of millions in the US that don't have insurance, I rely on the Veteran's Administration for ALL my medical.  It turns out those four years in the U.S. Coast Guard back in the 70's is paying off!! 

  But, things are fairly well - as of now.  There were several weeks of really Hell with the Chemo.  It almost shut down my kidneys.  But they tranfused a bit of blood, and took me off the heavy stuff and tried the lesser form.  It still made me sick - but its over now, for a while.

  I lost count of the CAT, MRI, PET scans I've had.  The cancer is called small-cell lung cancer - which is the most "popular" among us Cancerians.  But its not just in the lungs.  Its sort of tied around the arteries, wind pipe, adrenals, and some other places in the central chest area.  The main concern is where the cancer has eaten away chunks of my spine.  One vertabra is 50%.  If I lift or put myself in a situation where a load is put on that part - SNAP!!  And that would take on a whole new direction of treatments.  During radiation, the guys at CARTI use majic markers to draw alignment markers all over my chest.  I want to get a photo of them before they're washed away.  They use them to line up the ?camera?  With radiation comes the sunburn.  And its quite evident with the peeling skin. 

  The idea is to Zero in the radiation to the exact location of the cancer.  Obviously, they're aiming at the spinal area first - then just taking shots at the rest.  Prelimenary CAT scans show its down about to 40% - but it will be a few weeks - mid April - before the results of the radiation are sured.  Then, they will prescribe something else.  Perhaps more of the same.

  Its sorta weird, but I actually looked forward to seeing the folks at the CARTI.  It was a daily routine for just over 6 weeks, and I was getting use to lying on that COLD bed as the machine circled my chest.  And then those few seconds of  ZAPPPP !!!

  Nuff for now.  To be contined later.

 

      I wonder if those around me will ever really know, understand - what it is like being here.  Cancer may be curable in some cases.  Mine?  The doctors and I figure I have had it since I began on the aspirin and tylenol - almost 1-1/2 years before I ever saw a doctor.  A week after my biopsy, he

said 12 to 16 months - before the CHemo and Radiation.  Of course the treatments have stretched those months a bit.  But its still there - big time!

I wonder - do they really know what it is like for me?  Do they understand what its like for the millions that know its just around the bend?  I don't really worry about dying.  Not at all.  I think about it every 15 to 30 seconds - constantly.  They, do they understand?

 

Later.